Timeless Frost-ing

This past weekend, the guys and I watched Until the Light Takes Us, an awesome documentary about the aesthetics and infamy of Norwegian black metal. For those not in the know, this includes murders, church burnings, and making necklaces out of your dead friends. This includes, above all, being an EVIL MOTHERFUCKER (really NSFW, but crucial):

Okay, so not like that. But it IS equally exciting. I kind of wish I'd seen the movie before we planned our film series on identity performance, or I would have insisted on its inclusion. According to the elaborate mythology surrounding black metal, these guys are basically committing hate crimes, but it seems to be more out of an escalating game of one-upsmanship more than any strongly-held ideology. I don't know enough about the history of metal (Laine is much more knowledgeable on this subject) to give this much other context, but I assure you that the film is worth your time.

Immortal is one of the bands that, you know, didn't kill people. Although a few of their members have gotten in trouble after leaving the band, they (as far as I can tell) seem more involved in painting their faces than going around being dicks. Which brings us to Joel.

Today marks the birth of Freakin' Joel, my boyfriend's roommate and one of the most adorable people I know. To celebrate his existence, I made him a cake. Joel is fan of many things, but the three that spring to mind first are God, sandwiches, and metal. Of these, I thought the last would be the most fun to illustrate in confections. I've been wanting to try this tutorial for a while now, so I thought I would do my best at representing the guys of Immortal...

...in chocolate.

To achieve this, I melted three shades of chocolate (semisweet, semisweet+white, and white) and used them to trace a reversed version of the above image in three stages.

Here is the image, topped with parchment and taped to a clipboard:

Here is Stage 1:

While these were chilling in the freezer, I baked Joel's favorite, yellow cake. Then I moved on to Stage 2:

And after they'd had time to chill again, Stage 3:

While they were chilling one more time, I topped the cake with chocolate frosting, then made Shaun take pictures of my outfit. If you are going to bake a metal cake, it's important to wear attire that is practical and thematic. Here's what I picked:

Dress: Hand-made vintage

Socks: Xhilaration
Shoes: Where via Urban Outfitters

I can only wear this dress so often, for obvious reasons.

No one really knows what kind of creature this is supposed to be...

...or why these pockets are here.

But, hey--take a look at these SHOES!
For the first time, there is a pair that fit my (giant) feet and not Laine's.

I'm not trying to rub it in, but usually it's the
TOTALLY HEARTBREAKING other way around.

And then, the unveiling/flipping/placing on the cake!

Not too bad for a first effort, eh?

If I had the time or inclination to do this over again, I would probably add more white chocolate to the midtone color, and I would try to figure out some way to prevent the bleeding that happened between colors here. Still, I'm pretty happy with the final results, and I think the birthday boy was, too.

Food Fetishism: Cake vs. Pie

There was an epic debate on Google Reader this week on whether cake or pie is better. My stance is that the ideal cake defeats the ideal pie, with the caveat that pie is easier to pull off. You can order a pie just about anywhere, and it will be edible. Cake, however, is alchemy. Combine disparate elements, apply heat, and you end up with something magical that is more than the sum of its parts. With so many steps and so much science to the art of baking, it's easy to screw  up in myriad ways. You can end up with something too dry, too sweet, with too much frosting or not enough. Not to mention, cakes are so versatile - you can even make them look like other food! In fact, there will be another post later about Food That Looks Like Other Food (I'm kind of obsessed with it).

And please, could there ever be a show called Ace of Pies? No, don't even play.

Here's what really settled it for me, though:

#yourargumentisinvalid

After seeing that video yesterday, I was inspired to make a LOST mm . . . cake! for our weekly LOSTnite. I basically improvised and made a kitchen sink cake - thus Blueberry Buttermilk Chocolate Cake with Dark Chocolate Sort-of-Ganachey Frosting.  It turned out very nicely - very moist and not too sweet. The  frosting was the best part. Don't judge the decorating - I didn't have any fondant on hand and had to use whipped cream. 

For the cake: 

2 c flour

1 3/4 c sugar

1/2 c buttermilk

2 sticks unsalted butter

4tbsp cocoa

1 c water

2 eggs

1/2 bag of frozen blueberries (or fresh when they're in season)

cinnamon to taste

1 tsp vanilla extract

Combine the flour & sugar. Boil water, butter, & cocoa in a sauce pan, then add to dry ingredients. Add remaining ingredients (careful not to scramble your eggs in the hot cocoa!). Pour into an 8x8 pan, & bake at 375 for about half an hour. I always test to see if it's done VERY often - I'm paranoid about dry cakes!

Now for the "sort-of-ganachey" frosting. This part was really made up, and all measurements are  approximate. I used the last of my cocoa in the cake, so I grabbed a chocolate bar. I didn't have any heavy cream on hand, so I used buttermilk. The texture was a little too liquidy, so I added just a touch of confectioner's sugar. I added the mayo as an emulsifier, as per Alton Brown's suggestion. Sounds gross, but you can't taste it at all, and it's much easier than using eggs.

1 bar of Ghirardelli extra dark chocolate

Handful of Hershey's cinnamon chips

About 1/2 c buttermilk

Mayonnaise as needed

Enough confectioner's sugar to stiffen the mixture (not much!)